Isaiah Mustafa
Isaiah Mustafa (aka Old Spice Man aka The Man Your Man Could Smell Like) is a cool cat, handsome as "old school handsome", and a manly man among men (not as manly as Stephen Colbert but he still takes second place), even his fureign name sounds cool and manly. Theorists are divided as to if he can be considered to be the Black version of Chuck Norris, while an opposite faction believes he is the Black version of Stephen Colbert. Which is wrong, Mustafa can kick your ass like Chuck Norris yet he is gentle and manly like Stephen Colbert... which makes him a natural abomination a Divine Creation that fuses these two American Heroes, which makes him greater equal semi equal/greater to these two manly men in American history. According with the Webster Dictionary, Mustafa has redefined the meaning of "Sexy Badassery": "A legendary creature whose swan dive is majestic and his mating call is a snap of his fingers, attracting worthy females from across the lands.﻿" Old Spice Commercials Facts Regarding Old Spice * Can give you super powers * You will smell like a real man, but wont make you look like a real man * Women will chase you if they smell you, I hope you have good cardio * Old Spice was originally for the ladies but it only lasted for a year. Ladies using Old Spice became too manly so the company switched its marketing target to men. The Ladies King of Ellenopia Mustafa is so cool that the people of Eastern Latvia has crowned him king, he now carries the Royal Title of King Isaiah Mustafa Badass Sexyman Old Spice I and he has chosen Ellen DeGeneres as his Grand Princess Queen (even the lesbians cant resist him! That's how manly he is!) Philosophy "If you were alone in the woods, and no one were around to smell you, would you smell as manly and awesome?" *Answer: Yes, even Mother Nature would smell him and would want to make out with him. Facts * He can speak with robots * He once jumped a pool full of diamond-sharks * He tore the wings off Pegasus and ate them buffalo style to achieve The Manliness * He used a time machine to meet Genghis Khan, then arm wrestle him while signing opera. * Real Men dont use the naughty-man-dirty-bad-news-potty-talk. * Mustafa's home address is 528 Bottom of the Ocean next to the Giant Rock 1B Mount Olympus, Earth 93981. * When he visited the country of Uzbekistan his manliness short circuited their entire power grid network, the blackout lasted for weeks. * His left bicep almost destroy the Planet of Neptune in the Spring of 2007. * His stern look can bring down trees. Stephen Colbert + Isaiah Mustafa Theory of Manliness It is believed that if Stephen Colbert's manliness were to clash with Isaiah Mustafa's manliness it could create The Big Bang of Manliness causing the ladies all over the universe to reach Universal Orgasm which could literally shatter our reality forever... which is why these two must never meet... ever! Shirtlessness, Matthew McConaughey and The Manliness Factor It has come to the attention of the men who run Wikiality that the Old Spice Man does not wear a shirt. This phenomenon is similar to that of the object of Stephen Colbert's man-crush Matthew McConaughey. It is obvious that the Old Spice Man has modeled himself after , but little is known about the influence (if any exists) of McConaughey's influence on man-scented body wash. More research will have to take place. And by girls because none of the men who run Wikiality are able to perform these duties. All interested girl parties log into the tubes and start researching. Do it for Stephen. Old Spice Man's Children: External Tubes *Official Twitter Old Spice *Isaiah Mustafa Twitter *Cool Cat Mustafa wants to be America's new Super Hero! *Isaiah Mustafa's voice mail *Old Spice Man's Series of Tubes *Old Spice Man is not Un-manly *Old Spice Man does interview with Libural Feminazi Media *Old Spice Man to take over Series of Tubes *Isaiah Mustafa: King of Youtube *Mustafa's secret: he is magic! *Nerd Magazine ph3rs the powah of Mustafa *Company reveals success of Old Spice: It's a sekret! *Will Old Spice Man become Stephen's New Black Friend? *Isaiah Mustafa is so amazing, he turns turd into gold! No, is true! *Old Spice Man will take Hollywood *Beware of the Not-the-real-old-spice-man-that-is-not-Isaiah-Mustafa *Is Old Spice Guy good for White America?